Thursday, February 11, 2010

Olympics In Canada, Aye!

I'm so proud to see Canada on the television every day with the start of the 2010 Winter Olympics. It's very exciting! I just wish they'd televise the 2010 Winter Kitty Olympics! I realize that our games don't bring in the big sponsors (even though I'm pretty sure Tim Hortons would jump on board because every cat owner loves donuts), but the events are quite exciting. Check them out:

Catnip Mouse Curling - a catnip mouse is pushed across the floor and kitties use their paws to scrub the surface and get the mouse to its final destination. Disqualification occurs if the mouse has a googley eye ripped off.

Cat Couch Jumping - after a short run to gain speed, kitties soar through the air and have to clear the couch and land on the other side on all 4 paws. The wipe outs can be quite dramatic.

Cat Cross-Kitchen Racing - because the loud noise of starting guns scare us, the race is kicked-off with the clanking of plates. Kitties then take off, crossing the vast kitchen and all of its obsticles to arrive first at the finish line where tuna is disbursed in lieu of medals.

Cat Luge - after a hardwood floor is prepared and cleaned, kitties run and lay down, front paws out, and luge across it. Like the human luge, spinning out of control is not a good idea.

Cat Bobsled - a team of cats run together, then the first cat stops and the others crash into him causing a pile up or as the trainers say, a perfect "choo-choo train effect". If the cats can maintain a line formation and slide all the way to the finish line together, they win.

Cat Figure Skating - only the most graceful participate in this event spinning in circles and maintain composure on any slick marble tile surface. This one is my personal favorite.

In the spirit of the games, I'd now like to sing our Canadian Kitty National Anthem. Please rise...

O Canada! Meow!
Our home and native land! Meow!
True patriot love in all thy sons command. Meow!
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free! Meow!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee. Meow!
God keep our land glorious and free! Meow!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Meow!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Meow!


Your Canadian Gold Medalist in Awesomeness,

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